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Only Yours
Genre: Angst / Fluffy / Smutish
Pairing: You x Kyungsoo
Synopsis: You catch the sweep of his eyelashes brushing the skin under his eyebrows, his soft eyes holding a million stars and million stories. His hand found yours, fingers threading till you clasped back tightly. You believed the curve of his lips to be only yours, though maybe you hadn’t realised that you weren’t his.
Length: Estimated 4k words
Part 1
It was a day like no other. The grey clouds clung a little too closely to the pravement, fog hovering around every corner of the city. You gaze out of the window, trying to make sense of the ghost like figures passing through the growing mist and disappearing in the distance. Blurred lights flash loudly, their intensity being enough to distract you from your mug of not-so hot chocolate.
None the less, you take a sip, the sweetness melting on your tongue like ice cream on a hot summers day. Yet here you sat, winter hanging above your head with flakes of snow pending to fall. It was that boring period where Santa was due to bring his presents, where the days felt colder, where everyone just murmured that ‘Christmas was around the corner’. The door chimes, your curious eyes trail towards the wooden entrance and mentally measure the height of the man that walked in. Average.
Silence sat heavily amongst the customers, making it easy for the whirring of the coffee machines to rumble their way into your thoughts. You narrow your eyes at the fog, perhaps it has lifted slightly? Figures seemed a little more outlined, you could tell by the disgusted expression of an old lady, her eyebrows raised and nose scrunched at a youngster who spat on the road whilst cycling away. Such clarity. Yes, the fog had definitely begun to lift.
“Just a hot chocolate, please.” A deep voice seemed to draw your attention. You were never one to care for what people said, or how they said it. But there was something so indescribably deep and gentle about this particular voice, that you just had to crane your neck towards the barristers, their tall and broad postures making the man ordering appear more boyish and frail. You doubled your thoughts, unsure if whether that honey like voice really came from a frame that seemed not to fit it?
Chances were that he was just a young boy. You continue shamelessly staring at his back, the curve of his narrow shoulders, his messy hair peaking out from the back of his hat, you were trying to estimate his age. His voice lured you, and there was no way you would leave without knowing who he is.
That is until he swivelled on his heels, his doeish eyes meeting yours in an instant. He almost looked like a deer caught in headlights, and had you not been so stunned at his beauty, perhaps you would’ve been more overwhelmed with embarrassment. You tear your gaze away, eyes running to stare at the remaining drink in your mug instead, though the image of his pink tongue catching his generous bottom lip engraved itself in your mind and replayed in front of your eyes.
Once again the cafe fell into a pit of silence, muffled sounds of car honks made a dazzling appearance every few seconds. A high pitched screech fills your ears, you hold back the cringe and lift your head, only to feel your breath being caught in your throat when you realised that he was now stood in front of you. His hand was placed on the back rest of the chair that was in front of yours, and he was pulling it out as if he was about to seat himself, “Is it alright if I sit here? There aren’t any other seats available.”
The depth of his voice told you that he was mature, very much contrasting the youthful glow of his skin. Perhaps he was a few years older than you? But nothing major. You were so bound in the spell of his question that you almost forgot to reply.
However there was no way in hell that you would trust your own voice, not a chance would you speak with your small, annoying, whiny one, when his sounded like it could melt butter. With that voice, he could convince you to do anything and you’d happily agree. You nod your head, pressing your mug to your dry lips as an excuse to be unable to speak. He coughs uneasily, you keep your eyes on the window next, using it as a distraction from the work of art opposite to you.
“Kyungsoo… Doh Kyungsoo. And you are?” He was introducing himself! The clank of your mug against the wooden table seemed louder than it was meant to be, almost as if it slipped out of your hands, or maybe it did. You mumble a soft apology and glance at his face once whilst practically whispering your own name. “Y/N… Y/N. Ah, okay, nice to meet you, Y/N.” It was like he was tasting your name on his tongue, repeating it a couple of times before determining which tone sounded the sweetest.
You watched the way his lush lips moved each time your name passed through them, the flexible shapes they made paired with the unnecessary roll of his tongue sent your mind into a havoc. You wanted to say his name too, but that would lead to more conversation and you hadn’t prepared for a talk with an angel. “The weathers been dreadful lately, it honestly wasn’t that bad this morning.” If you had guessed, you wouldn’t have thought of Kyungsoo to be much of a talker, because judging by his khaki pants and checked shirt, you would have assumed he was more conserved and silent.
Despite realising that he was a fashion terrorist, you found his outward appearance rather homely, as if warmth was radiating from him in a reassuring way. His hand reaches for the spoon that sat on the edge of his saucer plate, “I like my hot chocolate extra sweet.” He mumbles, the corner of his mouth lifting while he loads a bunch of sugar into his drink, then stirs it all in.
You wanted to run a finger along the prominent veins that bulged out of his rather pale hands. “I added six tablespoons, I won’t judge.” Kyungsoo’s raised eyebrows and slightly parted mouth was an introduction to a new expression, and honestly, you found it adorable. “That’s a bit much!” He says, the smile in his answer was evident.
He laughs, the ring of it danced in the air causing your mind to zone out every other distraction. There was a crinkle in his button nose, his glazed eyes shifting into crescent shapes while his laugh seeped deeper into your ears. And you swore that it was the most beautiful sound you had ever heard. “Hey! That’s not fair, I thought this was a critic free place.” You cross your arms jokingly, eyebrows furrowed to fake a somewhat serious expression yet somehow, you find yourself wanting to hear that gorgeous laugh once more.
Kyungsoo’s apologies were accompanied with the laugh that melted your heart, and you unintentionally kept glancing over and over at his bitten heart shaped lips while biting your own.
You hoped this meeting would re occur, there was something so captivating about this homely man that sat in front of you. Perhaps it was a small crush, or maybe just sudden interest. But you shake your head with a stupid smile while Kyungsoo continues telling you about his day, because my oh my, you had just fallen for a stranger.
A beautiful stranger indeed.
A couple of days pass, you were sat in your usual spot inside the bustling cafe when a familiar deep voice surged into your ears, “Just one hot chocolate, please.” As if on cue, your dipped head lifted itself, catching his stature just as he turned, those same owlish eyes were staring into your suddenly shy ones. You caught the lift of his lips, his feet carried themselves to you out of habit.
The seat in front of yours became his, your otherwise lonely afternoons became shared and now this spot in the cafe was no longer only yours, it was his too.
His breath held the sweet scent of hot chocolate, and you weren’t able to differentiate which was filled with more sugar, his drink or his voice. Your fingers dance nervously in your lap, you’ve had many conversations with him after your first meeting, though your lives would only meet the minute either of you stopped in the comfort of this cafe. Kyungsoo peers at you through the depth of his lashes, he runs a hand through his hair and you catch sight of his forehead before it disappeared behind the curtains of his fringe. You debated whether you had developed major attachment with him or if… if you had actually fallen?
Those that fall aren’t always caught, those that fall don’t always fly, you were hoping that at least one of these would happen to you. But the longer you looked into his gentle eyes, the more you told yourself that you were just in the midst of falling in love, and maybe… maybe he was falling with you too.
So when he finally asked you on a date, you felt your heartbeat excell the speed at which the coffee machines were working. Your blood gushed to your ears, heating them like toaster ovens. An embarrassingly huge smile gave way to your answer before the words “I’d love to” would even tumble from your lips.
The heavy scent of cocoa loomed sweetly in the air, and your hot chocolate suddenly didn’t need those six extra tablespoons of sugar, because life was now sweet enough.
It was the first time you felt the warmth of his hand wrap around yours, the way his warmth radiated into the palms of your hand had a calming effect. Kyungsoo promised a home made meal and brought you into his candle lit apartment with a shy smile plastered on his lips. “I hope you like Italian food” he mumbles while pulling out a chair for you to sit on, you nod your head enthusiastically, hair bouncing from the speed at which you moved.
You catch sight of the shadows crossing his face while he chewed, the apples of his cheeks plush and round, jaw clenching but the smile on his lips was never fading. His cute expressions caused you to smile without realising, “is there something on my face?” He questions, hand reaching to grab a napkin, his voice snapped you out of your daze and you shake your head, “nah, you just look cute.”
He laughs bashfully, voice mixing with the herbs and flavours that roamed the air. Dinner was flavoursome, after disappearing into the kitchen to put away the dishes, he reappears and sets two glasses on the table. With a knowing look, he flicks the rim of the wine bottle, “a glass?” He asks, soft lips pulling into a small smirk. You blink slowly, taking hold of a glass and titling it in his direction.
You watch the red wine pour into your glass like a waterfall, the sound of which filled the expanse of the dining room. You clink your glasses together and cheer before immersing in the bitter sweet taste of the alcohol.
What was time again? It was as if the hands of the clock had stopped the moment you entered his apartment. Echoes of your drunken stories still hummed in the premise of the room and two empty bottles later, Kyungsoo leans foreword from his seat, so close that you both were practically sharing the same breath.
There was a moment that you spent just star gazing in his eyes, in them you found a galaxy, in which there was a place you could call home.
You wanted so badly to treasure everything about him, but you waited till you knew exactly what he felt. So the second his soft lips pressed against yours, you thought you had gained your answer. Kyungsoo’s hand fumbles its way to the back of your head, his fingers running into the depths of your hair and lightly massaging your scalp. His touch sent tingles into your skin. You smile against his plush lips, and feel the apples of his cheeks rise because he was smiling too.
You lean back in an attempt to catch your breath, but Kyungsoo seemed adamant to have you as close to him as possible. So within a matter of moments, his hands were back on your waist, grip tightening as if he feared to let you go, and you both found yourselves stumbling into the darkness of his room. His bed hits the back of your knees, with help from the streams of moonlight peeking through his curtains, you could make out the features of his handsome face. You saw the accentuated dip of his Cupid’s bow, his lips even more alluring than ever.
Kyungsoo was soft, but the shadows made him more defined, and you ran your hands against his chest feeling just how toned he actually was. He flexes under your touch, causing a silly smile to stretch on your kissed lips. His doe eyes were gazing into yours, as if he was trying to read your mind, he then lets them roam over your chest where he leans down and presses wet kisses against your collarbones.
“Kyungsoo…” Something between a moan and a whine passes your intoxicated lips and he answers by letting his tongue slide into your mouth while you once again share a deep kiss. You could taste the spices of his pasta, and he could taste the one too many glasses of wine you had. Your chest swelled with affection, you felt as if you were on cloud nine and hoped that it wasn’t a dream.
Your teeth were clashing for dominance, he tried distracting you by sneaking a hand up your shirt and drawing circles into your back with his fingers. And though this did cause electricity to run up your spine, you didn’t give it. Kyungsoo lets his lips trial from your mouth to your neck, his bites produce petals like bruises on the soft skin there.
A single push had your back against the softness of his mattress, Kyungsoo’s average heighted frame easily covered over you, and a smile tugged at your lips remembering the first time you noted his appearance.
With his body flush against yours, proximity didn’t exist. In this moment of time, his kisses were yours, his moans were yours, his happiness was yours. And you were his.
Day broke, your eyes blink open to a morning where the sun was hiding behind a group of dim clouds. It radiated the sky with a splash of orange, the colour ran in streams, sneaking past the cracks in the curtains and landed coincidentally on Kyungsoo’s face. Your heavy eyes didn’t want to close, you forced them open, watching his button nose scrunch every time he let out a soft snore and you felt a giggle on the verge of spilling.
The ticks of the clock was the only resounding noise in the room, time had finally begun moving again though every inch of you wanted it to pause so you could keep him in your arms.
You counted his moles once again, wondering if you’d ever find the correct amount. Kyungsoo’s arm tightens it’s hold around your waist, his eyes move behind his eyelids and you knew that he was fighting his battle with sleep. When they finally opened, you greeted him with a shy smile, his chest was flush against yours and your lips were inches away. A part of you was hoping for a small peck on the lips, but all you recieved was a wavering shy smile. Perhaps he wasn’t a fan of morning breath.
Kyungsoo’s bed hair was a delight to wake up to, it was in between down right clumsy and unbelievably beautiful. You inhale the breath he took away, morning light accentuating everything that was perfect about him. The sweat from last night had withered but the scent of intimacy still lingered. And all you did was gaze at him with all the love you had to offer.
Nothing had been said just yet, but minutes had passed since he woke and all he did was lie next to you, and you lay next to him. His soft hand was running in your ruffled hair while yours lay flat against his firm chest. You felt the steady beats of his heart tapping into the palm of your hand, his eyes were tracing over your features and they paused to stare into yours every now and then.
“Y/N, I - “
His voice came to a halt when the doorbell rang.
Kyungsoo’s eyes shifted to his bedroom door, and then they chased back to meet yours. You parted your lips to question him, asking what he was about to say, but before you could say anything, he suddenly looked away. You sense the panic in his eyes, they were shaking slightly as if they didn’t know where to look. Kyungsoo sat up, ready to attend to the door, your hand lifted with him and you noticed the increase in his heartbeat.
He glances at you once before pulling his hand through his hair in an attempt to neat it, then standing to quickly dress himself. For the first time, you notice how sunken his chocolate eyes seemed, they didn’t look the same last night when you were gazing into them.
Kyungsoo pulls on a shirt and the images of you pulling it off him last night flash before your eyes. You look to the ground, finding your own dress kicked and forgotten in a corner, your bra and underwear laying around it.
You sit up, pulling the blanket over your chest out of modesty. “I’ll be back in a minute.” The words barely passed his lips but you heard him clearly, you waited until he left, his soft frame leaving the room and shutting the door gently behind him. Then you stood to put on your clothes, checking your messed up appearance in the mirror.
All you could remember was the feel of his lips against yours, heat crawled up your neck while you pressed the back of your hand against your mouth in pure bliss. Echoes of his fruitful voice still breathed down your ears, the way he chanted your name in soft hums and moans was engraved in your mind. You still remember the feel of his hands against your skin and the timid change of his expressions, the way his hooded eyes peered at you, the lust was evident but you kept looking for the love that glinted every few seconds.
All you knew for certain was that you had definitely fallen. Doh Kyungsoo, I love you.
After exiting the bathroom, you stood in front of his bedroom door, the only barrier between you, Kyungsoo and which ever person had come over to visit him.
You were debating whether it would’ve been acceptable for you to leave the room, would it become awkward? Honestly, your thoughts had become rather stirred ever since Kyungsoo woke up this morning. Neither of you had a proper conversation, and it had been almost half an hour since he said that he’d be ‘back in a minute’.
Your fingers clutch around the edge of your dress in nervousness, you press your hand onto the cold handle of his door and twist until the latch unlocks. After exhaling the breath you held, you take a step outside into the living room that looked much brighter in daylight and let your eyes roam to find the one man that mattered most.
But Kyungsoo wasn’t there.
You hear voices from the kitchen, you take cautious steps toward it and catch sight of another person stood in front of Kyungsoo, her pretty smile was reaching her eyes before they flickered towards you. After noticing your presence, the curve of her red painted lips suddenly dropped and her gaze became stone cold.
You gulped, unsure of the situation and chose to remain silent letting Kyungsoo handle what ever was going on. His back was turned to you, but perhaps he caught the change of expression in the girl and turned till he was met your with nervous figure.
Kyungsoo’s eyes widen when they see you standing at the doorframe of the kitchen, one foot on top of the other while your hands fumbled with the fringe of your dress. He turns fully and you see the crease in the forehead, however even with his messy bed head, he was adorable. He lets out a breath and coughs uneasily, eyes rushing back to glance at the girl while he presses fingers against his forehead, “Jisoo-ah, I can explain.”
You pick up your sight from the ground, confusion brewing in your mind because you couldn’t understand what he meant by ‘explain’ The girl in front of him was apparently named Jisoo, but the lack of response from her left you in a void. Though that’s when you caught the glint of anger in her eyes, tears rimmed her waterline and she stood with her fists clenched. “Then explain, Doh Kyungsoo! Who is she?”
You could feel the venom in her tone pour into your blood, her volume sent a shiver down your spine and you frantically look at Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo lets his hand slide down his face, his worried eyes run over your tired image and lets his sight meets yours. You stare back, dumbfound and utterly confused at the situation. It couldn’t be, could it? You watch his adam’s apple bob once, his tongue runs over his bottom lip before he takes it in between his teeth to bite.
“I asked you a question, Kyungsoo!” Her voice was sharper than a blade, and you weren’t sure if it was the tone that was cutting you, or the lack of Kyungsoo’s response. Why isn’t he telling her that you’re the one he loves?
“She’s just a friend, babe.” You let your sight fall to the ground, ‘just a friend’ ? They were only three words, not the three words you wanted to hear.
The longer you heard his hushed voice attempting to calm her down, the more the pressure of hot tears built in your eyes. You glance over at the pair, his eyes looking into hers as if finding a way to grab her attention. Your thoughts automatically trail back to last nights kisses, brewed by intoxicated whispers and close proximity. You recall star gazing in his eyes, seeing them filled with love, but perhaps all you saw was the reflection of your own.
You try your upmost to hide any source of emotion on your face because you could see the way he was earnestly looking into her eyes, the way his hands softly cupped her cheeks as if trying to reassure her that she was the only one in his sight. Kyungsoo was panicked, worry struck over him and the thought of you had left his mind.
He loved her.
“Well why is she here?” He wipes a thumb across her cheekbones as he makes an excuse that you had no place to stay since you were new to the city. You back away at his words, feeling more out of place than ever. Your eyes watch him press a firm kiss against her forehead, a kiss that you thought only had your name written on it, but clearly it was never yours.
“I love you, Jisoo, only you.”
You feel your breath stuck in your throat, making your breathing near impossible. Blood gushes to your ears blocking out other sounds and their muffled voices. Your feet were taking steps on their own at this point, your mind had become a compete wreck. You could feel the pulse of your heartbeat surging through your body, heat racking up to melting point where your hot tears had already begun falling and you couldn’t stop them, not now.
Perhaps this is what it felt like to have the world shake so violently beneath your feet, everything had become so dizzying that you couldn’t tell if you were even functioning properly. Your cries and sobs were waiting to be let out like a dam on the verge of bursting. The way his soft smile flashed in front of your eyes was cruel, all you wanted to do was scream in pain.
You felt the walls of your self support crumble, you knew you had fallen in love but… you never knew if he had fallen with you.
He hadn’t.
Watching his arms around someone else was like a stab in the heart, but it confirmed that you never belonged in those arms. What was last night? Why was he intimate with you? Why, why, why? It was suffocating standing in the very place where you thought he made love to you. Hearing the very voice you fell in love with tell a different girl that he loved her stopped your airways. You needed to breathe but it felt like the walls were caving in on you.
Your fingers clutch around your purse that had been on the dining table and you made your way to the front door. You were certain you heard Kyungsoo’s voice call out to you, the very voice that had caught your attention at the start. You wanted to store it, lock it away and listen to it whenever your heart ached like it was aching right now.
But you shut it out by closing the door behind you, because that very voice had whispered love into someone else’s ears, love that you thought was only yours.
(Part 5)
sichajeon asked:
ahh ilysm thank you for that one shot😭😭 i rlly scrambled once i saw the notification djsbsjsjs i cant wait to read more of your writing hahah
omg !! 😭 i’m literally SOOOO happy you liked it! when people actually like my writing it makes me 🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋 thank youuuu xx
sugarboyuto asked:
dude where have u been!!!
😭 i literally deleted this app for a year. idk i just wasnt inspired to write and i didn’t know who to write about? idk :(( but i’m back noww :)))) ❤️ look forward to more writings
feel free to send one shot request 🥺
I GOT LOCKED OUT OF MY ACCOUNT BUT IM BACK NOW OMGGG
send me a request or something i wanna write again